Monday, April 4, 2011

A Lifetime of Learning

040411:  You may start out reading this post and think, "What does this have to do with Topaz?"  Bear with me, because it has everything to do with Topaz...  And if you haven't read this post first, this one won't make much sense.

I'm a private person.  You may not have surmised that fact since I write a blog where post photos and tell silly stories, and I run a very public business.  But there are very few people that really know me on a personal level.  Why is that you might wonder?  Well, it really doesn't matter because I am who I am and, more importantly, I am okay with me.  However, we found out something recently that has gotten me so twisted and turned inside out that I hardly know me lately.  In continuation from my previous post, we found out that Tony Ennis has cancer. (Insert sound of bomb dropping here...)   It's been really sudden and really devastating for Tony, his family, well.... everyone. 

Wait, you know what?  I'm not going to be nicey, nicey about this, because cancer is not nice to anyone so why should I be nice about it?  CANCER SUCKS!  That's a rather juvenile approach, I know, but I don't care because it's the truth and I can't put it any more succinctly.  There is nothing good about this insipid, horrible disease.  It nearly ripped my own family to shreds twice when my own mother was fighting against it.  And were it not for the glue we call "Dad" and the incredible well-of-patience that is he, I don't know what would have happened to our family.  Don't get me wrong, we all pulled together during her treatment, but the after affects since her treatment have been just as difficult to live through, too.  And time after time my dad has shown that he wears a big ol' teddy bear suit but underneath he has tiger blood running through his veins!  (Charlie Whats-His-Name is nothing compared to my dad.) 

Okay, enough of that... When we heard about Tony a ton of emotions came flooding forward for me....  the past.  The Past.  THE PAST.  Now Tony?  Not Tony!!!  Why Tony?!?  And why am I feeling this way now?  I've known too many people to count that have had cancer.  So why is Tony's diagnosis affecting me so deeply?  I walked around like a zombie for days and days trying to process my emotions so I could get a grip on what was happening and then one night I had a dream about literally fighting cancer.  Literally.. like in a boxing ring.  It was Team Cancer vs. Tony and his team.  And I woke up saying the words,  "Team Tony."  And then I started to understand.  I was beginning to answer some of my questions.  And from there an idea grew.  And then I really started to think.... be continued...

1 comment:

  1. I know exactly how you feel. The magnetic bumper sticker on my car say Cancer Sucks! It does, I'm in the fight as well. Hopefully, Tony will fight and keep a positive attitude and pull through this.